Great-Grandma's influence

Well, she was a grand lady and one that apparently caused everyone to quake in their boots whenever she was around. Though I was only about 6 years old, I remember her sitting in the kitchen wearing a large hat and a fur fox wrap around her neck. She was tall and slender and very commanding.

When I ran into the room, she immediately stared at me commanding a silent message "Stop." I was in some way overcome with fear. She was indeed overpowering. Her belief was that "Children should be seen and not heard." Since I was a chatty child, I began to enquire as to who she was. She glared at me and then ignored me. My grandmother was looking apologetic. This great-grandmother was of the old Victorian school. She had dined at the Palace and was not about to let her high society self fall from grace.

While my grandmother was peeling potatoes that she had boiled in the skins. (Something I was to see her do many times and later asked her why, to which she replied "I watched my cook in India do it.") This opposing mother-in-law demanded to know why she did not have a servant. My grandmother told her they could no afford it, to which this great lady retorted "Awful." Though I did not know about servants or India, I did understand the lack of money. I immediately knew enough to know that I did not like this woman and her awful ways. I was never to see her again as she died soon after I met her. I can honestly say, I had no feelings for her, and perhaps nor did my elders.

But, I learned something from her. By her mere presence I recognised power and the need to believe in myself even if no one else agreed with me. Yes, I inherited her drive as did my grandfather. I have never given up on any of my dreams, in spite of or despite circumstances and people.

World War II had caused an issue with money for my parents in those days. I remember that I was given a walky-talky doll for Christmas. (It shut its eyes and said Mama when I tipped if forward). It was the latest model, big and had some kind of china legs and arms. As I carried it upstairs, I banged it on the concrete step and the leg broke off. I was so upset. I had broken an expensive toy; one that my parents had saved for so that Father Christmas could bring it.
Actually, my father misunderstood my grief. He thought I was crying because it was broken and mended it with a large plaster that he bound round and round the leg for me, informing me that she was like my mother now, who had crippled feet, but was still perfect. Another lesson in awareness dawned on me. People had no idea what I was thinking and people could get better, just like my doll.

The combination of these two events led me to believe that the world was full of suffering and that no matter what class you came from, no one was listening to anyone. My grandparents had their thoughts, my parents theirs and mine were quite different. So, what was life about? This simple idea set me on a pathway of discovery to know people in both past and present times. Even today, I still seek insights into what makes people tick!