Sunday, June 17, 2012

Changing your mind - it is ok!

When I was teaching in Japan, one of my students asked me if she should change her focus on her courses. She felt guilty that she had enrolled in another course and then wanted to change her mind and do someone else's courses instead. She felt she had made a decision that would affect the prior teacher.

So often, people make promises or commitments to do something with someone and then find that they are really not able, interested or want to do the things they originally promised to do. Why does that happen?

The truth is that we receive new input to our brain every second of the day, and by the time night falls, we are busy processing this new input with all past events. Once we have done that, we come to a conclusion that something is either right or wrong for us. Next, the emotions kick in. Thoughts such as I feel guilty or afraid to change happen. Then we start to believe that we will be badly thought of by those who know us.

Well, the truth is, they may have a bad thought about you when you change your mind, but if you explain to them in a simple way that you have gained a new awareness and experiences that have brought you to a new conclusion and color it with a compliment to the person you feel you are letting down, you will find out that they are actually glad you are not free to be with them. After all, who wants someone who is miserable for company!