Cruel Mind

Who was it that said some people are cruel and some are kind? Well, it was so long ago that I cannot remember, but I do know that it did sink into my brain and sit there, year in and year out. An idea that weighed heavily on my mind.

When I speak, am I cruel, yelling and seeming unreal or am I heard as calm and serene? Do I say too much and hurt someone's feelings? Is speaking my mind and trying to help seen as interference;, or am I being cruel? Those kind of questions and many more made me think about how I sounded when I communicated with the world. And of course, I tried my very best to sound nice, honest and open.

In fact, I was so busy being kind, thoughtful and caring, that I forgot about myself. How often was I cruel to myself? All those times, I told my mind to be quiet; don't listen to me! Always telling myself to ignore what I needed! Made sure to hide those feelings and pretend nothing mattered but others!

Now in my older years, I realize just how cruel I was to myself. I denied myself so much and yet, I became so much more for having gone without. But what was it I went without for? Self-love!

Some may call self-love selfish; leaving them out in the cold. Some may say I am self-centered. So, what if I am, then at least I have found a balance between what I feel and what I think. So now my mind has learned to listen to my heart. Yes, I am kind to myself now! Are you?